Smells Like Blaming My Poor Choices on Retrograde - Funny Astrology Scented soy candle
Apple Harvest
$24.99
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Shift the cosmic blame and embrace the aesthetic with this witty minimalist candle.
Whether Mercury is actually in retrograde or you just need a relatable excuse for your latest chaotic decision, this candle has you covered. Designed with a clean, retro-inspired aesthetic, it perfectly captures the intersection of modern astrology culture and self-deprecating humor. It is the ultimate statement piece for your coffee table, nightstand, or sacred space.
This candle is crafted for those who love a "0% accountability" lifestyle and a 100% trendy vibe. The bold espresso typography against a soft cream background makes it a versatile addition to any home decor style, from mid-century modern to minimalist chic.
Soft, clean, and calming. This soy candle fills the room with its unforgettable fragrance. It comes in a smooth glass jar that fits any space—perfect for gifting or winding down.
• 100% natural soy wax
• 100% cotton wick
• Glass jar size: 2.8″ × 3.5″ (7.1 cm × 8.9 cm)
• Sticker size: 3″ × 2″ (7.62 cm × 5.08 cm)
• Product weight: 9 oz (255 g)
• Burns for 50–60 hours
• Product sourced from the US
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Oak inc. and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 123 Main Street, Anytown, Country or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
Smells Like Blaming My Poor Choices on Retrograde - Funny Astrology Scented soy candle
$24.99
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Whether Mercury is actually in retrograde or you just need a relatable excuse for your latest chaotic decision, this candle has you covered. Designed with a clean, retro-inspired aesthetic, it perfectly captures the intersection of modern astrology culture and self-deprecating humor. It is the ultimate statement piece for your coffee table, nightstand, or sacred space.
This candle is crafted for those who love a "0% accountability" lifestyle and a 100% trendy vibe. The bold espresso typography against a soft cream background makes it a versatile addition to any home decor style, from mid-century modern to minimalist chic.
Soft, clean, and calming. This soy candle fills the room with its unforgettable fragrance. It comes in a smooth glass jar that fits any space—perfect for gifting or winding down.
• 100% natural soy wax
• 100% cotton wick
• Glass jar size: 2.8″ × 3.5″ (7.1 cm × 8.9 cm)
• Sticker size: 3″ × 2″ (7.62 cm × 5.08 cm)
• Product weight: 9 oz (255 g)
• Burns for 50–60 hours
• Product sourced from the US
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Oak inc. and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 123 Main Street, Anytown, Country or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
Shipping & Returns
Shipping & Returns
Shipping Timeline: 7-21 business days
Each piece is crafted per order by our small team. This personal approach means longer wait times, but ensures you receive something truly special made just for you.
- Tracking: Provided once your order ships
- International: We ship to the US, Canada, Europe, New Zealand and Australia.
Returns Policy:
- Cancellations: Available within 24 hours of purchase
- Replacements: Free within 30 days for damaged items (customer pays return shipping, images required)
- Returns: Not accepted due to made-per-order nature
Questions? Email support@sacrametal.com
Why You'll Love This
Discover the unique properties and benefits that make this piece special
Your Daily Ritual
Whether worn for style or spiritual practice, each piece becomes a personal touchstone on your journey
Cosmic Connection
Designed to align with your zodiac energy and enhance your spiritual journey.
Handcrafted with Love
Made per order by our small team, ensuring each piece is crafted with intention and care.
Care & Usage
Everything you need to know about your purchase
How do I care for my crystal jewelry?
To keep your piece looking beautiful:
- Remove before showering, swimming, or exercising
- Store in a soft pouch when not wearing
- Clean gently with a soft, dry cloth
- Avoid harsh chemicals and perfumes
How do I cleanse and charge my crystals?
Crystals can absorb energy, so regular cleansing is recommended:
- Moonlight: Place under the full moon overnight
- Smoke: Pass through sage or palo santo smoke
- Sound: Use singing bowls or bells
- Intention: Hold and set your intentions
How do I use this for my spiritual practice?
Your crystal jewelry is a tool for intention and energy work:
- Wear it during meditation to amplify your practice
- Set intentions by holding it and speaking your goals
- Keep it close during challenging times for support
- Trust your intuition on when to wear it